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Mummy Update

Wow what a whirlwind the last 4 months have been. 4 months being a mum, 4 months with my baby boy. It has been eventful and honestly one of the most joyous yet difficult times of my life. Having a baby is not as easy as it seems and I have seen that first hand social media is not all it seems. From the photos that I post you would never realise that motherhood has taken its toll on me physically and mentally.

The first month was the hardest, getting used to this new life, the breastfeeding, the sleep deprivation and still finding time to do all the usual things that we used to do. The first month if people didn't bring us or make us food we only had take aways and microwave meals, not the healthiest but that is all we could manage to do. We also got loads of gifts which was amazing but the baby blues are no joke. I cried pretty much everyday, one of the hardest days the feeding support midwife came in with me in my pants and jumper, crying and baby screaming. I looked a mess and I was struggling, we chatted it out and I felt a little better. But as the weeks moved on breastfeeding got more and more difficult, to the point I ended up with mastitis, which is no joke. This was the final straw and what ended my breastfeeding journey, I'll be writing all about my experience separately but it was tough. 

The second month got a little easier, I got a lot more sleep as we could share the feeding. Bug also was able to sleep in his bed, this ment we could have a little time to ourselves. There were still tears but we were slowly getting there. Then Bruce went back to work and it was a sudden shock, I was left with bug all by myself and it was the most difficult task I've ever done. I cried more times then I would like, I got over stressed, and my anger came out. I would argue and shout at Bruce, I didn't mean it but I was so stressed and overwhelmed, mentally I was breaking. 

It took a lot to finally admit I needed help and being diagnosed with postnatal depression. Being honest was the best thing for me as I got the help I needed, which is still ongoing. Along with this, little man is going in for an operation as his umbilical cord didn't dislodge correctly, meaning his belly button hasn't closed up properly. But with every cloud, he is finally sleeping really well at night, so well that we are now all sleeping upstairs.

This journey is rough but I am now loving it. Just waiting for his first words and finally crawling.

Stay Gorgeous

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