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New Year, New Changes

It's 2017 and my aim is to change. Everyone starts the year off by saying "new year, new me" and it lasts for a month and then we are generally back to our old ways. But for me, I'm not going back!

The end of last year was a real struggle for me, to the point I made a huge decision, one of the biggest in my life. To some this may come as a shock, but I decided to defer university. Yep you read that right, the girl who loves studying and science has left uni for the year. But don't worry I am going back this September to finish my final year. I didn't take this decision lightly, it had me up at night, crying and completely not happy with where I was. It was my decision to defer, despite everyone saying to stick it out. But, to me sticking it out would have been like climbing Mount Everest, I might have been able to get to the top but it could have killed me getting there.

I don't regret my decision at all, and despite most people's reservations that I would fall in to a slump, I have found a new. The light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. Not to say I am anywhere near the end at all, and I know that it will be a constant battle between depression and anxiety, but I finally feel...happy. My mood and my mindset has changed. I don't want to just sit and hide away, I want to explore, discover and try new things. I'm not going to say that I don't have off days, I do. Those low days where you feel numb and unsure why you feel so low, but I'm getting there, getting control back. I'm still on anti-depressants, but they are holding steady at 100mg, which with the talking therapy is further bringing me back to the surface.

So what are the changes that are coming?? Well as I'm writing this I have gone back home. This way I can relax even more and find more of what inspires me. Next I'm planning a few changes with my blog and Youtube channels. The reason for that is I want to showcase more personality as well as a few endeavours that I have planned. So don't be shocked if things get moved around and changed. Finally I'm going to be getting a job. This isn't new for me, I have had a job in the past, but I really need one now till I head back to uni. This is to get out there, meet new people and make some money doing it. I want to put more experience in my CV, to show I can do anything I put my mind to. As well as all of this I want to really change my life. I will be 25 this year and I want to feel I have gained something. I read a post recently that made me really re-evaluate my life. It was '25 things you regret by 25', it spoke about letting life pass you by. It really spoke to me and has got me really thinking about life. I don't want to sit by and let it pass, regardless of depression and anxiety I want to see the world and take every opportunity that comes at me. Really I don't want to feel and look back at my younger years and feel that I have gained nothing.

This is a big change for me. It might not seem like it is, but to me I am making a huge difference to my life. And as they say if you don't like something change it, your dreams will always stay just that if you don't take that leap of faith.

Stay Gorgeous 

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  1. Change can always be good, but it's now down to you to make it happen.

    I wish you every success in 2017, as I know you have the strength to see things through.

    Keep being you Jess and you will shine.

    1. Thank you and i will...i am already making big changes and i hope there is a lot more to come, as i am planning to do a lot more travelling and mini projects haha