In anxiety GAD health help panic attacks stress worry

Anxiety

Im a sufferer of Anxiety verging on GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) and im here to tell you what it is and how it affects your health. Im also going to tell you about my anxiety, what it does to me and how I cope with it. This is not a self help blog as I'm not good at controlling it myself and it has got worse. But I am showing you how bad it can get and that if you are a sufferer you are NOT ALONE. If it wasn't for Youtube I myself would feel alone with the disorder.
So what is anxiety and who does it affect? 
Well it can affect anyone and everyone. Most people will have suffered with a bit of anxiety in their lifetimes, such as a big exam. But its how its controlled that can impact and cause severe anxiety. Anxiety is a feeling of 'doom' and sufferes usually worry about the worse outcomes of anything and everything. Anxiety can be brought on by many things, the biggest one is stress. Stress leads to worry and over worrying can lead to anxiety. Constant worrying leads to severe anxiety and then it starts to affect your day to day life. But anxiety can also be caused by trauma, such as a significant amount of heavy stress and worry.

How does anxiety affect your health?
Well the usual physical affects on your health are dizzyness, shortness of breath, nausea and diarrhoea. These physical affects can also lead to panic attacks, phobias and social disorders. The mental affects are usualy stress, worry, depression, loneliness and a sense of 'doom'.

Can it be controlled and can it get worse?
Yes it definitely can be controlled, but with everything it takes time and strength. You can tell your doctor who can also help with your contol by prescribing drugs and refering you to specialists (not that it always happens). But unfortunately it can get worse, through further trauma and stress. This without help can increase your chance of developing GAD, and impacting your life even further.

Now that most of the scientific stuff is out the way ill start with my anxiety.
My anxiety has been cause by several traumatic stresses.  The first is when I was younger, I had to deal with my parents divorce.  My brother was still a little young to understand but I was understanding fine and tried to be a good big sis and look after my little bro. The divorce was fine a little confusing being ask many questions about homes but not to stressful for my little 7 yr old brain. But that was just the start, for about 10 years there was a fight for my brother. Divorce is stressful enough but having people ignore you for so long can bring severe stress to the point of pain and panic. 
After this I became stressed and depressed when my grandparents passed away. They were a big influence in my life and it hurts still now thinking I haven't been able to show them how far I have come. I then headed for uni, great a chance to be independent and meet new people. It was not the case, my dorms were far from my study hall and the people I shared the kitchen with were a nightmare.  I became reclusive and didn't go out. I never left my room unless it was to go in for lectures or to use the bathroom. This went on for 2 years and became hard when I left as I didn't want to bump into anyone. 
My final trauma is quite recent and is one of the reasons I left work. I was sent up to Cambridge on my own, to use taxis and had no one to talk to. This made me depressed and the added stress not being able to eat or get my money on time caused me to have stomach pains and panic attacks. It got to the point that I decided to leave and at that point I felt a little happier. 
But not having a job and having anxiety is starting to hold me back.

My anxiety can keep me up at night, make me feel sick for days and can cause all the health problems as above. But even worse I get panic attacks, hyperventilation, chest pains, kidney pains, blood in my urine, vomiting and a faint feeling. I can start panicking and worrying up to weeks before a new social task. If it leads to vomiting I can feel ill for a few days after the social interaction. I have even developed clostraphobia, as being in tight spaces with many people can make me start to hyperventilate.  I have did get better being able to travel frequently on the london underground. However, now I've been out of work the though makes me worry again.
I know how my anxiety affects me and I know what to do when it starts but I don't know how to control it completely.  It does take over my life and its something I'm going to have to live with for a while yet. It shouldn't get in the way of living my life but ill keep trying to fight it.
I hope this is useful for you thinking if you are a sufferer or if you are a sufferer. You are not alone in this and together we can control it.
XOXO
♡♡♡♡♡♡

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